THOUGHTS OF A BROKEN MIND

I left my flat early this morning
With a heart as dark as the sky above
At that moment did I remember my jacket
And went back into my flat
I came out once more and the cold hit me in the face
As a jealous girlfriend would
I begin to walk aimlessly
A man of no purpose
And then the heavens decide to take a piss on me
Oh fucking hell you just had to do that didn't you?
I hear the thunder crackling and roaring
As though the heavens were making a mockery of me
I came upon the path of many directions
And begin to ponder on the events from the night before
I stand there completely lost in thought
As a child lost in the shopping mall
What sort of life is this?
I begin to ask myself
What sin have I committed?
I stand there as the heavens continue to urinate upon my head
I look up and just stare
The whole lot of you are crazy
I sit alone comfortably with my own thoughts
Till some individual thinks it sensible to ruin it
I am a man of few words
Don't push me to speak when my tongue is deserted of words
I think and think and think
Sleepless day after day night after night
A demon consumes my mind
As all experiences converge as one to fight my body
They begin to whisper in my ears
Like my many wives one complaining about the other
Shut up! I shout loudly
Only for a little girl to stare at me and swirl her finger around her head
Signifying to me I've lost my mind 

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

ABUNDANT SORROW

I wake up each day,

Eat out o' a bowl in which pain and sadness is served,

I am forced to ingest this choking meal for nothing can I say,

Happiness is but a temporary companion the hard way have I learned.

For unto her heart and her being did I cleave,

Like a suckling to its mothers breast,

Till one day happiness flapped it's wings in readiness for flight and decided it was time to leave,

Leaving me at the mercy of the vulture that is sadness all alone in my once safe nest.

My eyes flooded with tears,

He touched my tears with His staff and bloody red did they become as the Nile,

For how long shall I wait till this pain from my heart clears?

Though a lad of youthful pearance sadness has made me like the old and I am senile.

You whom are my gift looketh upon this demon called sadness as it torments me,

If thou cannot deliver me with love from this corpsen shell called depression then whom shall I trust?

I have become of no substance flowing directionless like the waters of the sea,

For alone in this world I am and I am lost.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2014

FUTILE LOVE

She says she loves me

I profess undying love

And then she leaves me

Haiku (DOUBLE UNFAITHFULNESS)

she was his girlfriend
walked in on them having sex
and he killed them both

NO SLEEP

Oh my poor young eyes
old and weary have they grown
all from lack of sleep

INSOMNIA

There I lay like a body in the grave,
Sadness maketh my body a hollow vessel,
Tribulations cometh upon me like a deadly wave.


To the darkness of the night becameth I a slave,
With this force did I engage in a wrestle,
There I lay like a body in the grave.


But by mine own hands did I this path pave,
In time endless down this tunnel did I travel,
Tribulations cometh upon me like a deadly wave.


In this war must I be brave,
But my mind clouded by confusion becometh a puzzle,
There I lay like a body in the grave.


My own soul do I fight to save,
For of my soul this demon maketh its temple,
Tribulations cometh upon me like a deadly wave.


Sleep for months do I crave,
But entrapped am I in this wall of circle.
There I lay like a body in the grave
Tribulations cometh upon me like a deadly wave

FAR AWAY SAMARRA

I sent him on a quest to the market,

When suddenly he felt a cold hand upon his shoulder;

Fear gripped his soul and his calm did it harvest.

Death looked him in the eyes and his attention had he kept,

The stink of dead souls grew as he moved closer;

I sent him on a quest to the market.

Totally frightened slowly had he crept,

And sped away on his feet as though he were a rover;

Fear gripped his soul and his calm did it harvest.

On getting home unto me had he leapt,

He begged for a horse to take him to far away Samarra;

I sent him on a quest to the market.

I went by myself to the market,

And questioned death why upon my servant he sought to lay his altar;

Fear gripped his soul and his calm did it harvest.

Surely from the world would he be washed,

For death had a date with him in far away Samarra.

I sent him on a quest to the market.

Fear gripped his soul and his calm did it harvest.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John- 2015

THE SQUIRRELS OF PRIORY ROW

I came to this fine city of Coventry,

The city which has become my home;

The view so beautiful and the people bubbly,

It's beauty did I compare to Rome;

My body was covered heavily against the cold,

From nervousness did my palms become clammy;

All alone I had to be but bold,

My soul at home with my family;

Some beings did welcome me to this city,

It was but a scurry of squirrels;

They welcomed me with chirps into their community,

Unlike humans diligently do they uphold morals;

Happiness did fill my heart and made my soul glow,

So ends my tail of the squirrels of priory row.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John- 2015

MY FAMILY

What has become of the family?

An institution now bereaved of sanity,

Humility sent to the gallows and in comes vanity ,

Held up in high esteem like a tapestry.

Now can I no longer trust my own brother ,

For jealousy from him blows like a great souther,

I wonder if we are of the same mother.

Of my blindness I once believed in unity,

For my heart was moulded from credulity ,

I detest so much impurity,

My family is against me with such great mutiny.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

SHE

She came in through the chair,

beside me she sat on the door.

When I set my heart on her,

My eyes skipped a beat.

She was beautiful from the roots of her feet,

To the sole of her hair.

She walked gracefully on such beautiful arms,

Her feet swayed by the sides of her body.

But wicked death took me up into hell,

but I am forever alive for her beauty took me down into heaven.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

BLOODY SATURDAY

Like a cloud over the people evil looms,

As a storm does disaster brew.

The dukes and duchesses have mounted their flying brooms,

We shall resist them for our suffering is long overdue.

In your house, down the street does evil lurk,

Greed doth turn the hearts of the people to a shallow murk.

What valentines day might this be?

Or be it a Lupercalia and we the sacrifices.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2014

CONFUSION

I am filled with all manner of confusions,

My mind now the abode of illusions,

And I am the ambassador of dillusions.

I know not what my mission here is,

I feign a mind so calm but I am not at ease,

Could anyone their joy to me lease.

Wars are being fought in my head,

I know not where by this spirit I'm being led,

Constantly sorrow I am being fed,

And makes me wish I were dead.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

I

I come to this world helpless

Weeping for my journey from heaven is tiring.

My fragility but renders me hopeless,

I gain happiness from the many who are admiring.

Like a lamb do I hold on to my mother's teats for milk,

I look up at her face which is as smooth as silk.

She cradles me like a prize in a warm embrace,

My head upon her chest her heart beats with what solemn bass.

In the twinkle of an eye

I no longer desire her embrace but to walk on my own

In realisation of gradual loss of me does she sigh

Aggression begins to manifest and I want to be left alone.

From friends we become foes

She weeps and streaks of sadness sip down her nose

She prays regardless for this gift upon her God bestows

And watches helpless as he treads down a path of which not she knows.

Her son becomes a man before her very eyes

Upon his chin a previous bare land grow forth grass

Proud of her son she smiles

With great joy her heart leaps for the bad times are pass

Upon her grave he stares

Longing once more for his mother's love

He owes his life to God and her prayers

Her strife to keep him from the world's hands he knows not of.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

I LOVE YOU

I held your lips

And kissed your waist

The sole of your hair

And the roots of your feet

I love you from the depth of my life

To my very soul

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2014

LIES

Lies!

They say a problem shared is half solved

Lies!

When shared results in the soul being half gorged

Complications numerous as the nations of the world

The heart after being tortured is half sawed

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

OBSTINACY OF A WENCH

Change

Change

Change will I

All hope is lost

All is in vain

For this she uttered was merely a lie

Obstinacy filled her ears like dust

And warnings out of her ears did they drain

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John -2015

X

Xsistence of my people was hindered by the pale man,

Xcommunicated were we from our own land,

Xploited is my country of its resources,

Xhibits my sisters and mothers are made of like zoo animals,

Xamined are the breasts and buttocks of our wives,

Xclaim did we men at this painful sight,

Xalted yet today are these beasts who call us beasts,

Xquisite was this young man named Malcolm,

Xtinguished he the flames of their burning terror.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

PUSILLUM

Ambulat ego indu tuum vita cum a sanus cor,

But now my heart is so sore,

To you I become undesirable,

Like a mouse before the serpent I'm vulnerable,

A vision of life without you I did not forsee,

This pain surpasses that of the sting of the bee,

Thouest leaveth me with great pain I couldn't overcome

Intra me tibi inserto a pusillum.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

JOURNEY

In this lonely hole cradled by despair,

My heart with hurt you didn't spare.

A little time to think do you seek,

For reasons which make our future look bleak.

You leave me in the arms of your foe,

Her evil plans though you did know.

This is my final speech,

For to you I'm but merely a leech.

I speak no more from this day,

For my heart is in decay.

I am prepared to take this journey alone,

For to cupid I fail to atone.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

FRIENDS

What is friendship?

This human concept is but a ship,

A vessel destined only from the start to sink,

Seconds before the eye could blink.

A friend is no longer reliable,

In connivance with your foe does he stab you in the back,

A position once so viable,

Results in my heart being coal black.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2014

DOLOR

For my smile is but an outward glow,

Masking the beast I fight within me that inward toil.

In my heart sorrow and pain doth you sow,

My happiness through this do you soil.

Infinity is but the measure of my thoughts,

A crazed fellow becometh I wandering the streets of the earth.

In my veins with severe pain my blood clots,

My body happiness is but a great dearth.

For I am lonely in the midst of company,

The world singeth for me a depressing symphony.

For you fair lady cherish not my company,

The trees, sky and the earth in warm embrace of me and my heart do they take unconditional custody.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2014

EXILED LOVE

I remember that glorious summers morn,

As though it were only yesterday,

There was I a boy who was lorn

Till by my side you came to stay.

I fell in love with you instantly,

In your snare of love was I trapped,

Then out of love for me you fall out suddenly,

And made me mad.

In the end all seems to be in vain,

Seasons of love are flushed down the drain,

Forever exiled to the depth of hades,

Sentenced to stabs of the fiery blades.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

COLD HEART

Why is this world ever so cruel?

I'm saddled with sadness as though I were a mule.

In the distance I spot my friend,

The one when I'm heartbroken my heart can he mend.

I run towards him with my heart filled with utter glee,

Little did I know his true form would I see.

He pushes something sharp into my side,

The sensation was like an angry tide.

Helplessly bleeding I begin to stagger, 

I could not even a single word utter.

You think you're better than everyone,

You have everything in the world but one.

Which is my friendship with you,

For months I plotted against you what to do.

I resolved to take your life away,

Now in your place as king am I here to stay.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

ON THIS MORN OF LOVERS DAY

On this morn of lovers day,

Doth my mind back and forth sway,

For loneliness on my soul down does it weigh,

And leaveth my heart in decay.

No sooner had we been apart,

Than problems uncalled for were set to start,

And pierced my soul like a speeding dart,

And for seasons did they leave me with a bleeding heart.

My darling you are but a beautiful dove,

And no other to your detriment shall I countenance above,

The thought of not being with you can I not conceive of,

For pure and true to you is my love.

On this morn of lovers day,

What more can I say?

But thank God for making you stay.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John, 2015

DARK CLOUDS

For you I weep day and night,

But you snip me from your sight.

I have been wronged,

By none other than whom I longed.

Seasons seem to pass in seconds,

But I shall make lemonade for life presents me lemons.

Once a happy chap full of life,

But now my life is burdened with strife.

This great decision I make with a sigh,

All my life never I told you a lie,

But now the neck noose becomes my tie,

Which I wear gallantly in preparation to die.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

THE BEAUTIFUL UGLINESS IN MY HEART

Whatever you do whatever you say,

Never will I come back to stay,

These were the words she spake into mine ear,

And struck my heart with sorrow so severe.

I look upon her and realise I'm lost,

My soul is buried beneath a castle of frost,

In the morn did I take my own life,

Only to be sent back to this life of strife.

Anything would I give to be happy,

But in a pool of sorrow did Zeus send me,

Weakness soaks me from my crown to my knee,

I wish from Genesis this pain could I forsee.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

THOUGHTS OF A WIFE

These thoughts which afflict me they do not cease,

My poor mind in their clutches do they not release,

My husband whom so dearly I miss,

His luscious lips do I long to kiss.

Confusion heavily upon me cometh as a plague,

Memories of our love it leaveth but vague,

I miss thy soothing strokes on my head,

My heart incomplete without its other half leaves me but dead.

More romantic than Romeo is my lover,

Abundantly upon me his love doth he shower,

In strength shall I bear this pain,

For soon together shall we be both to us our earned gain.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

NO ONE

In the beginning to her you're the one

Then along the line you become someone

Slowly you slip from her mind

To you she is no longer kind

Finally to her you become no one.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2014

DEEP IN THE MONTH OF MAY

With a violent thud I fell to the ground,

Instantly I was surrounded by darkness,

I was rendered lifeless and cold,

Drawings upon my skin, as on the artists canvas,

They speak of the tale of that day.

Deep deep in the month of May.

Ever since I have taken the stance of the mantis,

Preserved and alive at seventeen years old,

Filled am I with utmost happiness,

For my purpose on earth was not defeated.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John- 2015

A LONELY SOUL ON A LONELY ISLAND

Tears flow like the Nile on my eyelid,

As it parts to give way to its violent currents,

For all alone am I on this Island,

Cupid only looks to test my forbearance.

You are the reason I am on this Island,

Seated on the sand staring at the sky so blue,

Your loving embrace do I at this moment demand,

For within my heart doth a violent storm begin to brew.

I realise only now what true love is but it's too late,

You showed me love but I took you for a jester,

I fear my words would 'ppear to you only as prate,

And for this of you shall I never again pester.

By mine own hands have I written my own tragedy,

For which within my soul will I live in eternal agony,

Your warm embrace will now in my mind remain only a fantasy,

Till the day of our meeting on this Island which I do await anxiously.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John- 2015

A LOST IDENTITY

Brothers and sisters,
Who are we?
Our true identities distorted by these tale twisters,
Who make our past and future impossible to see.

The white men came in their vessels to our land,
Chained our ancestors and dragged them through the sand,
Against their captors did they struggle,
To their vessels did their captors scuttle.

All at once they cast them from their home,
And left them befuddled,
All of our resources did they comb,
Upon them like locust to the plantation had they plagued.

The docks of the white mans land appeareth in the distance,
A journey which for centuries would cloud our existence,
They took our ancestors up into cities in chains,
All for their inhuman and sickening gains.

Generation upon Generation our people suffered immense pain,
This hardship rendered many insane,
They left us with nothing but poverty in our lives,
And upon the profit of our resources their land thrives.

They inflicted them with such great humiliation,
Sentenced to a lifetime of labour upon the white man's plantation,
War amongst us was their own creation,
Yet portray themselves wielders of salvation.

Everything the white man hates about a black man
is what the black man hates about himself,
Confirming we have no true perception of ourselves,
A problem years ago it began.

For years they have fed our minds with images of inferiority,
Psychologically programmed to be the minority,
Brothers and sisters let us make it a priority,
To eternally rid our minds of such utter vulgarity.

What is so slave-like about our color?
I believe our difference in all respect gripped the white man's fascination,
Out of jealousy around the necks our ancestors like dogs he strung collars,
And in search of our riches and resources began he is endless navigation.

Why was there a scramble for Africa?
A land where its people were referred to as beasts,
Over the land of these beasts did they wage war amongst one another,
And today portray themselves as the Holy priests.

Our ancestors struggled to regain their freedom,
Yet the only struggle we engage in is to go to the land of our captors,
This is a time for redemption,
We are not inferior but we are survivors.

Why do we handle our history with such levity?
We are to be blamed for the loss of our identity,
Resist the strength of their hypnosis with zealotry,
Lest we face the bitter penalty,
In which of our existence we sing an elegy.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

THE WHITE BEADS

Gathered are we at the village square,

Of my presence I ensure she is not aware,

From a corner I watch her twirling to the beat of the drums,

Slowly to infatuation my heart succumbs.

I examine her from her breasts to her buttocks,

Her hair as the path to the stream is braided into winding locks,

Then suddenly she twists her waist seductively,

And I begin to lust after her compulsively.

Surrounded entirely are we by darkness,

The oil lamp of the gods barely giving enough illumination,

I notice a glimmer which my eyes hold with total fixation,

Though amongst a crowd I reach to touch her waist regardless.

Around her waist do I spot a row of white beads,

I spring back for the laws of the gods so the wise heeds,

She weildeth the symbol of utmost purity,

Respect do i have for this maiden whom I want to be mine for all of eternity.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John- 2015

HUPOTASSO

For me picks the dust of the earth and upon my head do I rub,

for every way you have made me feel inadequate, stupid and unloved,

by the sand, a brother of my flesh, I promise you, shall you regret every action against me you have committed.

For my heart be pure towards yours, but yours towards mine is but stained like the plains of the desert,

You cause me to sorrow, tears of blood roll down my eyes and burst through my heart,

for every metre of affection and love I stretch forth towards thee do you repay me with unkind words and tempered manners.

If ever have I not loved thee as I ought to, let the God of Hadassah himself slay me by His power.

Not a drop of kindness fall upon my tongue to quench me of mine heated thirst,

in the Scythe of mine own pain and sorrow doth hath drowned me.

My heart, my soul and all its treasure doth I open unto thee,

yet enough not is my effort to love thee fair lady.

For I know not thee who thou are,

day by day doth thee my heart scar.

Submit you not unto your husband for as you wish pleases you,

For it is written that the woman submit to her husband

For if doeth she this hath she not of the man's merit given this,

But of respect for God.

But thy husband has showered thee with much affection and love,

It is of his merit and of Gods honour.

For so a woman who raiseth her voice to the man,

Hath shown no regard for the Lord God,

And as punitive a measure be meted out to her,

Will her heart be struck with sorrow a thousand folds.

I weep and weep daily for thine actions against me,

But here come a day when I shall do not which I did,

But shall look upon thee, with love and compassion still in my heart,

And shall forgive thee,

But thou hath taken my love for weakness,

And my compassion for foolishness,

Now will I show thee,

A husband loveth his wife to but a fair degree.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2014

WHAT IS THIS?

Love.........

What is Love?

What is this thing called love?

What is this emotion man is saddled with by nature?

What is this feeling that destroys and heals man's heart?

What might I call this feeling which hurts my soul?

This feeling though unrequited which is not understood.

For once hath thou poured out thy heart in tears

With pleas that ye may not be one day a past memory

Did I summon all strength that I may not disappoint you

Of great comfort and a peace of mind hath you been

Yet thou tortures me with sadness and a crazed mind

Did I all things to forever make you happy

Yet with such generosity you pay me back with such gloom

To what shall it profit a man if he loves his wife but loses her love?

What is this disease which carts away my reasoning?

Ovid advices me to cure this disease by going on journeys

But though I suffer from this affliction

I do not want to be cured of this ailment

For the one I love is my life

And if I be cured of this sickness

Doth marks the end of my life

And I dissolve into the dust from which I came

And my soul shall forever roam the earth

For I die not of a natural cause

But I am murdered

Hand in hand by my lover and her accomplice love

And ask

What is this merciless thing called love?

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

PURGATORY

For so long have I been separated from thee,

Sadness becomes blindness no longer can I see,

I suffer these sleepless and lonely nights,

Upon my soul a great fire sorrow lights.

I warn thee of lurking evil,

Yet my words you only belittle,

The tunnel from which the words I spake,

Sealed and upon my palate do they break.

Conveniently doth thou lose thy love for me,

You bury me in the sands of time with utter glee,

Love and care did I have for thee but sadness upon my heart you struck,

There's nothing left to say but this is my rotten luck

Why doth my love merit such immense pain?

Happiness you once gave 'tseems now you wish to drain.

Of all seasons did I stand by you with endless loyalty,

Now in need of help I suffer alone and compose this purgatory.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

ILLUMINATION IN THE DARK

I find myself in this world,

Blinded by such bright darkness,

Into this lonely and treacherous planet am I hurled,

Myself I train to live in feigned gladness.

A voice in the distance doth my name call,

The greatness of it upon my soul doth it maul,

In search of this voice I run round and round,

But I knoweth not in this darkness where I'm bound.

Finally I see a beautiful light,

Ever so clear ever so bright,

I race towards this burning sensation which appealeth to my sight,

And jump into it with all my might,

This light beams such immense peace,

A feeling I could never lease,

But for this illumination would I wallow in sin forever,

Thankful am I for from the clutches of evil my soul doth it deliver.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John - 2015

MORNING MASS

Here hand in hand with our toddler son,

To whom never shall you return,

Seated here for morning mass, 

Loneliness shatters my heart like glass.

Lord why art thou inflicted me with strife

You taketh from me my beautiful wife.

Adesina Aanuoluwapo John- 2015